Arghhh

OMG
Argh
I know some girls have screwed up personalities
but their faces are just wayyy too cute
*melt*
damn hormones -_-|||

wow

Apparently I caused quite a stir among my friends on facebook tonight. I feel like a minor celebrity hahaha

Controversial stuff is just too nice. I'm proud of the fact that I'm not afraid to be politically wrong

Long emo post

I missed the performance today. The thing is, I'm one of the performers.

I came down with high fever yesterday. With 6 hours of dancing, all that sweat and aircon were bound to do me some harm. I should have known better damn it.

I must say when I was first told that we were going to perform a girls' dance (and a very girly one at that, it's Gee btw...), I thought of quitting the performance, and felt very reluctant to learn the dance. But at one point in time during the rehearsals, I realized it didn't matter anymore. I just put all my heart and soul in memorizing all the steps and perfecting every little detail, simple because this is probably the only chance I ever get to perform for CJ. But in the end, just because I couldn't take care of my own health properly...

So dance rehearsals aside, all my preparations were for nothing. The breakfast I set aside for this morning so that I would be dancing with a full stomach, the CJ dancer shirt I washed, dried and ironed last night to wear for the performance...all that...

I feel so bad now. The CJ dancer shirt has always been my prized possession, something I wear with much much pride. Now I feel like I don't deserve it now. To me and everyone else at CJ, it's more than just a red shirt. It's an identity, a proud and loud "I'm from CJ!" to everyone who sees the shirt. I don't feel like I want to wear it, at least for now...

Damn. I was going to hang out with CJ people after the performance too. I was going to ask Yinah to teach me Ring Ding Dong parts too.

I don't know what I'm going to do for today since I set aside the whole of today for the performance. I feel like just stoning around in my room doing nothing. I don't have any appetite either....

Another tiring arcade day

Today after breakfast I told myself: ZOMG I WANNA DANCE I'M EXHAUSTED. Turns out I was wrong. I'M DEAD TIRED I STILL WANT TO DANCE!!! Ok jokes aside I'm really, really, really tired. I even had to take a break inside the staircase when i walked up to my room on the 4th floor. And I'm really sweaty too, like, dripping from the shirt, even after the relatively long train ride. But heck, I still want to dance T.T...I lack stamina dammit. Normally I would be this tired. It's probably because of the breaking moves I was trying out to day. doing bboy moves on arcade games is hard...probably because it's aobut freestyling all the time, and doing freezes and power moves takes some mental preparation...

Tired....

Monday and Tuesday were spent mugging for physics --> stayed up late...... And I didn't even do the test well. Not sure if I passed.....

Reached home at 11 last night. Again. NDP dance rehearsal is sucking the life out of me. Stayed at CJ from 5 till 9 and danced my life out. Getting used to performing "that" song, and it doesn't feel that weird anymore. Ok that's actually rather disturbing. But ah well, in the end it's still a dance, and if other guys can do it, so can I. It's not like everyday that I get a chance to perform for CJ, so as uncomfortable as it is to dance to to that song, I still must treasure this chance. And the performance is going to be recorded, aired on TV (highly possible) and what not. Let's hope the rumours don't spread.

Trying to get Yinah to teach me Ring Ding Dong this weekend. The choreograph is pretty fast. It looks quite cool nevertheless

People seem surprised that I'm actually into Kpop now. It's like, dammit, I'm the one who first listened to Kpop long before this whole Kpop hype started. Like, 3 years ago. I just sort of lost interest somewhere along the way and stopped listening. Now people think I'm just another one jumping in the bandwagon *facepalm*.

I'm in a financial crisis again. And I'm trying not to ask for money from mom again at least after the last time. $400 in a month...well if I minus away all the big spendings like figurines, it's not that extremely huge. Must cut down on arcade spending...

I've been eating a lot more lately. Like, for the past month or so. It's like I'm hitting another growth spurt *lolol*. Ok on a more serious note, I'm seriously eating a lot more. Breakfast is now a must. Skipping it leaves me in this horible hungry state i which I can't focus on anything. I still feel hungry after eating a normal serving of lunch at school, and still hungry after some snacks. Two servings of dining hall food now also is just enough to make me not feel hungry. And late at night I'd need some snacks too. Ok let's hope I'm really hitting another growth spurt...1m75 1m75 1m75 1m75 1m75 1m75 1m75......

Going to Marina Barrage for learning journey later and Zouk for the party. yesterday at CJ Celine sensei told us about all the horror stories at clubs. Like, all the drunking people puking, all people trying to show off and break dance in that tiny floor space (and end up looking really stupid, ofc). And of course there are also all those people who can't dance. I've been quite curious about clubbing and wanted to try it one day (especially since I'm 18 now), but upon hearing those stories, I just lost interest lol. Now I even feel it's a good thing the school booked the whole Zouk hall xD. I feel a little sad that there probably won't be alcoholic drinks though. Underage people sigh xD

And I'm feeling this way again

You know, the butterfly in your stomach kind of feeling. That feeling you get when you really miss someone

Except that it's for a song that I itches to listen too @.@....good vocals, good instrumentals, nice classical guitar solo...just MY kind of song. This is damn stupid but I think I'm having a crush on a song (?!?!?!?!?!) Someone whack me on the head pls......

Again with this older girl thing. I have no idea why, but almost all of my crushes are older than me. WHY? It's not like I have an older girl complex, but things somehow always happen this way. Maybe it's just because I hang out with older girls more than younger girls? Yeah let's just leave it that way. Makes the mind feel at ease... Oh wait I still haven't talked about what I've wanted to talk about. Yeah that's right, hot girls at my dance class *whistles*. I feel glad I like dancing cos dancer girls are just so hot o.0 (well not all, but many). Time to mingle around and make new friends hur hur hur hur. Oh shit I realized I sound like a pervert. But hey I'm a healthy growing young man, it's normal to be interested in girls, especially the good-looking ones. I'm not being superficial, it's just coded in the genes :D. (yay perfect excuse xD, works every time)

Physics lecture test on Wednesday. I think I might be majorly screwed. I like physics (hello, I'm like, the physics rep -_-|||), but somehow I just happen to do badly for physics tests. Must be the karma argh. But heck, I'm still aiming for an A, so I'll spend tomorrow's evening on nothing but physics. There's PW written report draft to be done, but screw it xD.