I think this is real, cos you gave me a heart attack just by walking past

I just watched Replay's dance again. Rino Nakasone's choreograph is just godlike T.T, I was trembling, on the verge of tearing even...so deeply moved by the dance...

Orientations and stuff

I randomly decided to pull n all-nighter today so I decided I'd update my blog. A 5-day holiday is ahead so I won't have problems catching up on sleep

Too lazy to check what's missing in between this entry and and the last, so I'll just write what's been happening recently. And in case I sound like I'm upset/unhappy, I'm not.

Dam I feel old. Suddenly all the kids at RI are now, what, in J1??? Like wtf? No matter how I don't want to acknowledge that fact, I'm in my last year in RI, already in the last leg of the journey. As much as I look forward to the freedom after JC (I'm gonna highlight my hair hur hur hur), I dread the A levels exams that will inevitably come before it. But I'm gonna face it like a man, because I now have a newfound goal to work in Japan (would prefer to study uni there but the language barrier is in the way), and an unbreakable resolve to strive towards it.

----- Just ate a few tuna sandwiches and totally forgot about writing this, guess I'll just skip to the next part...

So Orientation is here. I'l say it, I still feel jealous of my OGL friends. But covering Orientation as part of photog has its on perks too, so I guess I'm fine. This brings me to something rather unrelated. I had lunch with Miin the other day. Didn't really tell anyone, I guess my friends will start screaming and making dirty jokes if I tell them. Whatever. I'm still sort of trying to figure out what kind of person she is, but I think she's a nice girl. It's just that her aggressive personality probably gave her a lot of enemies, hence that rumor about her since last year. But still, I can't really understand what kind of person she is. At times she'll totally ignore me when I say hi to her, at times she'll tap on my shoulder from the back and say hi. Last time she was really nice to me, lending me money for lunch (gah cashless me) and lending me her phone. But it could just have been a front since she didn't want to have lunch alone or something. Like that time when she asked me to nominate for her for photog exco. You know, just being nice to someone because they're useful for the time being. Or maybe she's one of those people who are really nice, but only to their friends. Guess I shouldn't make any assumptions. I'm not interested in her or anything, but I'm just really curious since she's one of those "high profile" people in school and ever since that rumor I've wanted to know what kind of person she really is. And if she happens to actually be a nice person, then having another friend won't hurt.

Ok, moving on to dance. Just performed the other day in Boarding's CNY celebration. Made a few mistakes on stage, but honestly that was better than what I had expected since the performance was really rushed. I only had one practice sessions to learn all the Sorry Sorry moves and I was still screwing up even at the rehearsals right before the actually performance. Meh. And I've started taking class at CJ again. After the one year absence it feels wonderful to step into the studio and dance my heart out again. Taking advanced class this time, because the beginner class that year was just, well, slow. This time it's challenging, but just nice. Now going to CJ feels even more exciting hehe. I'm thinking of choreographing my own dances too. Right now two songs I have in mind are beautiful from B2ST and Se7en's Crazy. I think I'll start with choreographing part of the dance first. I'll just use what Eve taught me at CJ and add my own choreography to it for Beautiful. Then it'll be my own choreography for Crazy, woo hoo!! And of course I'll be cutting the songs down, not gonna try choreographing full songs yet because I don't think I'll have time. It'll prbaly be something like intro-verse-chorus-bridge-end....I feel like dancing just thinking about this hohoho

It's 4:40am...hmm what to do now...

Sigh

I hate PW. I'm such a burden to my group

Can't really write this on facebook

But I want to write it out badly, so I'll write it here. Where do you draw the line between an innocent compliment and a flirt, especially to a new friend?

Doubts

I'm really happy for CJ. The upcoming concert is going to be awesome and CJ's getting featured on O.M.G as a challenger.

Which makes me sad still, because once again it reminds me of Project U.P

I promised myself I would never give up, but I'm just having so much doubt about my ability to dance. I've failed dance auditions for three times, with maximum effort put in all the time. And last time when they asked me at the audition why I wanted to try again, I was really at a loss of what to say and made up some cliche stuff. Honestly I have no idea what really made me try again. Probably because I want to be in the crew and just be part of this awesome group of people so badly.

I want to try again next year, but studies will be really busy, and it feels weird going again, no thanks to stupid human pride. Should I take a break next year and try again after A levels? Will I be too old by then? Will my dancing skills have rusted by then?

Sigh

I love CJ but I don't like it at the same time. I love hanging out with them but hate it also because it reminds me of project U.P . My philosophy is better to try something then fail rather than not to try at all. But I'm having doubts for that as well.

Really depressed about all this.

I want to dance.

WTFs?

The Triple.Fi I'm ordering turns out to be $450 instead of $399, but that's still better than $699 RRP
Saw this 42-person (yes I counted) queue at the money exchange booth at J8 today. WTF?
This one person who often ignores me when I say hi to her in school tapped me on my shoulder and said hi today at J8. Another WTF
I'm IC for befriender dance sub-comm WTF :D?